....went well i would think...she's abrasive (my plastic surgeon), but she's good...and honestly, when it comes to the bedside manner of someone who is going to scalpel the crap out of my body...i'd rather her finely tuned hand and mind at my bedside than any touchy feely crap that may take away from that...but my breast surgeon, now she's got it all...she's an angel, and an excellent doctor...i just adore her...and i feel that i am in excellent hands with both of them...
...as for what was said...we talked about ways to keep the scarring to a minimum, which it sounds like we're going to be able to do...make a larger incision around the nipple as opposed to a smaller one with an additional one that goes from the base of the nipple to my chest wall...then it sounds like she should be able to minimize that scar even when she recreates my nipples in a few months...then a month after that with the tattooing, it sounds like it might actually not look so terrible...we'll see...literally...as for my stomach, that pretty much sounds like it's going to be a butchered mess...but my appendix scar is a thin light line, so maybe this one will be too? who knows...again...we'll see....
...so overall, my mom felt relieved following the appointment, like she has more hope or something...me not so much....but i don't know what would make me feel relieved...waking up...waking up will make me feel relieved...i am living to wake up...
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Dani, Darling, you don't have to FEEL brave. You may not be able to come to that. Just know that you are surrounded by people who love you and who will carry you on their shoulders and cradel you in their arms. It's okay to be scared. No one in their right mind wouldn't feel what you're feeling. Your bravery though is very evident. This dialogue you've started with those you love and who love you is a very brave thing to do. You're talking about your fear and letting us all know how increadibly shitty this ordeal you're going through is making you feel.
I know that mommom is watching over you and I know what her most favorite man in the world's advise would be to you. The grandfather you never knew would say something like, "make sure they give you the best one's available." He's watching over you too.
YOU ARE STRONG. You can do this. I love you.
Aunt Irene
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