...i really start beating myself up...i'm having a good day...the whole day so far has really been good...which given that "ok" is the new "great," i think good is really saying something...especially in light of the last few days...
...so here's the part that's really sick...i am totally beating myself up for how much support i've needed over the last few days...telling myself that i should be strong and self-sufficient...independent and, well, strong...i feel embarrassed that i've relied on you all so much...all pathetic and woe is me...ugh!!! one minute i'm falling apart and the second i'm back on my feet i start in on myself with how i shouldn't have stumbled in the first place...i know, sick, right?
the middle...where is the middle? i want to live somewhere between broken and hardened...a place where i can accept support while still standing on my own two feet....sometimes i can find that place, for a moment sometimes i can find it...today is not that day...but i have hope that tomorrow could be...
...in the words that a good friend wrote to me today, "Every day is Shiney & New! Well not always shiney but definitely new, so make the most of that new dawn everytime!" maybe tomorrow i will live in the middle....
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"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."
Helen Keller
xoxo
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